Let down

I'm tired of being let down by my friends.
I allow myself to get excited about things
and the people I love seem to think that it's ok
to just not follow through.

Yes, I'm exaggerating.
I'm just frustrated right now.
I have a few very reliable friends.
I love them more than words.

It just gets very tiring.
I think people assume
that since they know I'll forgive them
they can get away with hurting me.

And then others avoid talking to me altogether
so that they can avoid hurting me...
which ultimately hurts me more.

I feel a bit lost among my friends.
I've only been talking to two friends really.
I'm trying my hardest to keep the happiness
that's been creeping up from inside me.

I was heading into some dark places not long ago.
I don't want to go back that direction.
I need to find some affection
Not necessarily anything sexual,
but some kind of love that can bridge my gap
while I repair it.