Monday, November 29, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
I feel lighter
And more free
Through the years
Letting go has become easier and easier
And this time
It took very little effort
It's not that I don't feel deeply
I probably feel more deeply than most people
But my view of life and the universe has evolved
And God has given me the gift of understanding
So my focus has returned
I'm marching on
I rely on myself and the voice within me
The two things that have never let me down
And never steered me wrong.
Watch me walk my path
Walk with me if you'd like
I am surrounded by love either way
Friday, November 12, 2010
but I don't care tonight.
That's what I'm supposed to be using this for right?
To empty out my head...
To share these sacred thoughts...
With so many things.
And so many people.
I get frustrated
When people think they know me better than I do.
I spent nine years alone..
Just so I could explore myself
And figure out why I am who I am
And why I do the things I do
And why I think the way I think.
Nine years it took me..
To find myself.
I don't even know why I'm talking about all that.
I'm just in a horrible mood.
I wish someone would just break it for me..
Cause there are a few people who certainly could..
I'll always be the one who gives..
I made that choice a long time ago.
Sometimes I just wish I didn't choose that way..
but that feeling doesn't last.
I'll be ok.
I just might need a little nudge.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
I was looking forward to today all week,
But the reason I was looking forward to it
Just didn't happen.
I'm not upset or angry about it.
My spirits were just let down,
I don't really have anything else I feel like talking about.
Not tonight anyway.
So I'll just wait for tomorrow
When my friends start calling and sending messages
And my spirits start rising up again.
Even as I write this,
I received a message from a friend.
Like she read my mind
And wanted me to know
That she's thinking of me
And wants to see me soon.
That's a whole other story though
And not one I feel like writing about tonight.
Just a little reminder.
I don't care if you believe in God,
Or if you believe Jesus is one and the same.
His life on Earth was inspiring.
He led a life of love for everyone,
Even those who did him wrong.
His heart was open to everyone.
He knew he would be punished for this.
He still walked forward
And accepted the pain.
His reward was still to come.
So I ask,
Why is it so hard for us to do the same?
We walk in fear of pain.
We avoid it at all costs.
The pain we go through is trivial
Compared to the pain he endured...for us.
I will try to walk on
Regardless of my fears.
Regardless of the pain I may endure.
I will give my love
And I will accept love from others.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Life brings us to places
We can't truly appreciate..
Or even see
Until we climb the mountain before us
And look back over the valley behind us.
We think we know
Where we are
Or even where we're going
Until we stop looking at the map
And open our eyes to what's around us.
We think we know
Who we are
Or who we hope to become
Until someone enters our lives
And changes the way we feel about life.
We believe we're happy
With our lives
And with what we have in our lives
Until we're shown what it can be
And the possibilities that are all but within our grasp.
We're forced to wait
For the things we truly want
With no guarantee that it will ever be ours
But we still wait
Because we believe it's worth it
Life gives us a taste
Of the best things in the universe
Just so we know we lived
Even if we never taste it again
We'll still know what life truly means.
It all comes together
By the time we die
Whether it's tomorrow or decades from now
Just so we can die happy
And know we lived life to the fullest.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
I'm feeling love in me, and around me.
That keeps me happy.
Knowing that people love me brings my life to whole new level.
I feel it coming from around the world.
From people in Australia..India..California..Georgia..Canada..Florida...
Just all over..
It's great getting emails and texts from these people telling me they love me..
They miss me..
They send me good energy and warm thoughts.
I can't describe what these small things mean to me.
Sometimes I go through times when I wish people would send these small tokens of love more often..
I appreciate anything like this, as often as it comes...
or as seldom.
Sometimes I worry about sending my love to others..
I love strongly and deeply..
But sometimes people misread that as me being in love with them..
And then they distance themselves..
Fearing that they will hurt me.
There are only a few people I'm completely open with regarding my love..
Kelly, Veronica, Ingrid, and Nichelle.
They understand my love.
And they share the same love with me..
Those four ladies...
I love them so deeply..
I'd do anything for them.