Catching myself

I have been struggling lately
To keep myself happy
Today was harder
But I made it through

I'm lucky enough
To have some true friends
Who send me their love
And bring smiles to my face

I'm eternally grateful
For these special people
The few who understand
That it never takes much

It saddens me though
To see the distance grow
Between me and some friends
When it still feels unfinished

I hate feeling empty
I accomplish nothing
My business should be started
My love should be expressed

I find temporary happiness
In buying things I can't afford
I need to find another outlet
A way to release my energy

I fear I'll become careless
And wander deeper in the dark
I've been there before
I don't want to go back

I don't know what happened this year
I've had several drops in my mood
It's really unusual
I hope it ends soon

I realize where I'm at
And I still have the strength
To bring myself back
And feel the warmth of my love