A Flower in a Desert

My blog has been silent...
My thoughts have been rampant.

The thing I refer to as my life...
That has been changing.

The beating of my heart...
Is sounding a different rhythm.

The visions in my head...
Are clearer than before.

My dreams of love...
Have grown cold.

My hopes of success...
Have grown hot.

...............

It's funny how I'm happier
When I am not hoping for love.
Love has always been
Such a huge dream of mine.
If there was a time
When love could've been mine,
It slipped through my hands
And out of my life.

I still love...
Deeper and stronger than ever.
But I'm beginning to see
That maybe I'm meant to be alone.
The closest I came to feeling love
Is the love I've felt from one of my closest friends.
A flower in the middle of a desert.
A rainbow in the midst of a storm.

I broke

One of my best friends
                         resents me.
That was one of the most painful things
                                         I ever had to hear.

How do I fix that?
           What do I do?

I think she fears being alone with me
                      because I couldn't keep my secret.

I pray for her.
                I pray for us.

My friends mean the world to me.

What kind of friend am I
            if I make one of them resent me?






My heart is broken...









                                  My soul is weak...









It's time to rebuild...










                            Before I'm completely gone.