Step after Step

It's 3:30am
I'm tired
Worn out
But I can't sleep

My mind jumps
From one thing to another
My body is as restless as my mind
So I reach for my trusty laptop

Here I can write
Free from judgement
Just my words
Being thrown on the screen

I wish for her permission
To hold her and to touch her
A wish I know I can't have
But a wish nonetheless

Maybe I'm foolish for that
Would it really help me in the end
All it would do
Is get me through the present

I hate myself for thinking like that
I would never want to use her
I'll have to find my strength elsewhere
Or just ask Him for a hand

The roads I want to take are closed
So I'll travel another way
I trust God knows what He's doing
That He's simply giving a chance to grow

All my pain makes me stronger
And makes me understand people more
So I can fulfill my obligations
That I so long ago promised

I'm creating a life of love
And one day I'll share it
For now I keep building
And taking step after step