Rebuilding Me

What am I to say?
I let myself fall off track
Mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually
I wasn't taking care of myself
But I'm refocusing now

Mentally, I'm back on track
My mind is focusing much more easily
Ideas are coming easily
Motivation is building quickly
My ability to organize is being magnified
And my eagerness to learn is mind-blowing

Emotionally, I'm taking a break
My heart has dealt with too many ups and downs
I lost Harmony...and that's devastating for me
Everyday I wish for her to call me
It burns inside me when I think of her leaving
Jasmine and I are building our friendship
Which should make things easier for us
I guess I was wrong there, but I'm ok with that
She's a phenomenal friend and I'm blessed to have her as such

Physically, I'm getting healthier
I'm running more consistently
And doing Tai Chi and Aikido
I'm also beginning to eat healthier..
Or at least cutting back on the unhealthy things

Spiritually, I'm opening up again
I'm getting back into my meditation routine
Quieting my mind and expanding my energy
This, I feel, may be the most important part of my rebuilding
I connect with God and feel Him all around me
With a strong spirit, I can achieve it all

I feel like I'll be making some huge strides this year
And it's all beginning right now

Love and drinking...

Free writing..under the influence of alcohol...


Just let us be who we are
Don't stop emotions
Because it might change some dynamics
Everything in life changes

The bond we have is stronger
Than seems possible
Why not let it grow
By letting it guide us?

Love may be scary
Love leaves us open
But it can be so beautiful
When you stop denying it

The love is obvious
How deep, we don't know
But it's there waiting
For the leash to be taken away

A life awaits you
But only after you break your chains
You need to be free
From the prison you built yourself

Alone..in the light of the sun

My pain is real this time..
I had a woman ready to be my wife
And mother of my children

She would've been great
I felt it deep inside
And still I let her go

I felt another love..
Deeper than anything
A love so pure

My love for you
Was bright within me
A star in the night sky

But in the light of the sun
It would never be seen
Lost in the heavens...

My tears keep coming
When I think of your departure
I don't want you to leave

I know it's the right decision
But a fear is growing
That I will forever be alone